INTRODUCTION - "Grandpa! You Should Write A Blog!"

HOW IT CAME TO BE 

"Grandpa! You should write a Blog."

"A what?"

"Like a diary, like, so we can see what you've done in your life, before we arrived and while you've been away kind of: sort of, like." 

We have become O.A.P.s 'all of a sudden' and we need to stay active now that 'going to work' is no longer our primary reason for getting up in the mornings.

"The One above sees all!" Show Him some respect!
(This was a 'nugget' that I learned from my Grandpa.)

This blog gives me an interest, theoretically to keep me sane. The biggest 'plus', so far, is that I've been working with a close friend who has taught me far more than I thought I would ever know, or would want to know, about technology.

Patience Boys!

 

A list, which has been with me for most of my life is my class register from my High School days. 

This column of names was 30 strong. Now, over fifty-five years on, I'm using each ex-classmate as a 'comma' within my script, to help me with this project. 

I have been able to recite these names, apparently imprinted on my brain during those formative years of mine, between 1964 and 1969.

                   

                            HERE WE GO!                             

 Apps; Ashdown; Burt; Chuter; Clarke; Cox; Foreman; Graves; Hawley; Hill, Hobbs; Inwood; Lister; Mallard; Mannering; Marston; Nash; Newman; Pacey; Pencavel; Penfold; Philpott; Pope; Ransom; Rendle; Sayer; Tribe; Webb; Wells 

Should any of these old (the appropriate word now) classmates happen to see this page, my email address is below, so please send me a message. It's never too late for a re-union. Plus, I'd like to know which 'mate' has been omitted from this list. I was convinced that there were thirty of us!

Regards from 'Cavel' to fellow members of 'S1' through to 'S5'! 

Nothing ventured: nothing gained!

This is my devious plan to reconnect with people in a more discreet way than Facebook would ever allow. Each message or response will be dealt with 'one-on-one' and 'one-by-one'. Any subsequent emails I receive will not immediately go viral! 

I've always been a 'man of my word' and that won't change before I peg out!      

Alan's email: - alanpencavel12@gmail.com

                                 

If you are happy, content and comfortable

And you consider your conscience is clear

Then you have fertile soil on which to build

A richness of your own to hold dear

As 'young ones' we were nurtured by adults

Who had only concern for our health

"Treat others as we'd like to be treated

Integrity, in abundance, creates wealth."

Our lives have taken a turnaround

Personally, I now do more thinking

I still try to keep my feet on the ground

Now I've given up smoking and drinking

All our rellies still live in the Motherland

We talk on the Magic Box

But time spent now with our children

          Has recently taken some knocks!           

  L&P

Relax, with a few quips 

To that person who stole my mattress. I won't rest until I find you!

"Dad. Are we pyromaniacs?"
"Yes we arson."

"What do you call a pig with laryngitis?"
"Disgruntled."

You don't need to speak Spanish to appreciate this next one!

Being the editor of my own blog, and of a certain age, the content of this site is likely to have a bias toward the generation that was born during or just after the Second World War.

I sincerely hope that 'humour', as a means to sharing enjoyment, has not changed too much, in order that young folk may chuckle as much as we older ones. Not much chance, I know, but I can dream. 

Do not feel that you are being forced to look at any of my blogsite but I suggest you scan a few pages before you go back to whatever else you were doing, before I interrupted you!
(On your phone? ... What a guess!)

You may wish to return here from time to time, to see whether or not you've been missing anything of interest.

Bono and The Edge walked into a Dublin bar and the owner said, "Not U2 again!"

Paddy was putting a lightbulb in at Sean's pad. He was near the top of his steps when he started coughing and spluttering and couldn't breathe. "Sean" he says. "I'd better get down."

"Paddy, are you choking?" Paddy says, "No, I'm serious."

An Aussie couple won a million dollars in the lottery.

Mrs Lucky said to her husband, "What about all the begging letters?"

He replied, "Just keep sending them."

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

There was a power failure in a Dublin Department store last week and three hundred people were stranded on the escalators for more than two hours.

I've just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts. I won't lie to you. It really was a rocky road.

I'm trying to organise a hide and seek tournament but good players are hard to find.

Prison is just a word for you but for some people it's a whole sentence.

A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone a round.

Never buy flowers from a monk. You'll only encourage more florist friars

"How much did the pirate pay to get his lugs pierced?"

"Only a buccaneer!"

How did the old butcher introduce his partner?

"Meat Patty!"

Young Sandra came home with some bad news. "I'm expecting a baby!"
How d'ya know its yours? asked Paddy,

In our retirement village, we're only 65 plus. That plus number may vary but we are all just as old as we feel at any given time. 

Certainly, that may be older or younger than the previous day, for most of us! If you haven't reached 65 yet, for goodness sake enjoy being 'young' as the jury is still out as to when Middle Age starts and ends.

While Shamus and Paddy are working on a building site a slate tile flies down cutting off Paddy's ear. Shamus sees it and picks it up. Let's call an ambulance. They can sew it back on somehow. "No, Shamus. It's someone else's. Mine had a pencil behind it!"

Old Age! ...

... is not for Pussies or Whimps (Spelling option: 'Whimper' rather than 'wimper'? It's not in the dictionary as such but it makes more sense!) I may not still be around but I dread to think about the content of the 'Oxford English Dictionary' in fifteen or twenty years from now. 

I must admit that the O.E.D. doesn't currently read like the dictionary of Shakespearean times either!   😕    I'm just being a bit 'pickie' I suppose? (O.K. So 'pickie's not in the dictionary either? ...... I give up!)  😒

Carry on reading.

(Not a film yet?)

 Hattie Jaques and Sid James? Kenneth Williams (Rambling Sid Rumpo?) "Hello m' Deario." 

Teacher: " Maria. Go to the map and point to North America."
Maria obeyed and pointed just South of Canada.
Teacher: "Correct. Well done, Maria. Go and join the class."
"Now. class. Who discovered America?"
Sophie put her hand up straight away.
"That was quick, Sophie. What's the answer, then?"
Sophie replied, 

"Maria!"

Breaktime, then it was Biology. "Can anyone name a very dangerous animal?" asked Mr. Grumpy.
"Yes, Sir. A crocodile."
"... and how do you spell crocodile, 'Young man'?"
"K-R-O-C-K-A-D-I-E-L"

"No, boy! That's wrong."
Benjy replied, "It may be wrong but you asked me how I spell it!"

Don't believe this!
I hate the mornings now I'm retired!

Alan's email: - alanpencavel12@gmail.com

There is more rambling / waffling / verbal diarrhoea below.

I suggest not for seasoned readers but just to break in 'Newbies', gently!

RAISON D' ETRE

For some time now I have felt an increasing need to use an outlet in order to share my random jottings. In my retirement I have found time to compile more scripts than ever previously. I receive inspiration from an unknown source in order to compile these random jottings. The majority of these ‘assists’ seem to happen between 2.30. and 4.30 ... a.m. when I force my right arm to get out of bed, switch on the light and write down some notes. (The remainder of me stays virtually asleep!) When done, I flick off the light and look up at the fading domino, as the four ceiling lights slowly disappear.

 In the past (2009 then 2012) I published two books. 

My first book, released in 2009 (Windas … and how to clean 'em) is a fat, tongue-in-cheek look at my regular and satisfying work as a window cleaner. The second book I published, in 2012 (Poetry in Motion) is a skinny little book of rhymes. I am hoping to publish both books, chapter by chapter, on my Blog. These will be found on my 'Writings' page, which will be and will remain for a considerable time, the longest 'page' that I've ever published.

INSPIRATION

I guess we get inspiration

‘Messages from the deep’

We may find them in a daydream

Between consciousness and sleep?

“I woke at three one morning

I was apparently dying

I called my wife to say farewell

Not meaning to start her crying”

 

She called for help, which duly arrived

Two ‘Paras’ were asking me questions

I was breathing well with my heart lub-dupping

They came up with two suggestions

Was I making a fuss, but dreaming?

Or was I really at death’s door?

They decided to take me to hospital

For ‘experts’ to find out more

 

My vital signs were monitored

With a team of medics on my case

The boss in charge said I was fit, as a flea

Which put a smile upon my face

We all, without fail, have our axes to grind

We each have our crosses to bear

I am one of the lucky ones

With loved ones, willing to share

 

I’d been given a glimpse of the future

And I know now I’ve ‘seen the light’

Nobody knows when his time is up

But I know now that things are alright

My reason for starting a ‘Blog’ as above

Is that I’m sure I'll get a reaction

I know I'll not be the only one

To have been through a similar distraction

 

My motive for choosing to set up a store

To pass on some thoughts of my own    

Is because often I wake between dusk and dawn

When a number of seeds are sewn ? 

("How does your mind work?")

I wish to spread a few of my poems

To impart a few ideas

I hope to share some humour

            If only with some of my peers            

 L&P

RELAXATION

My humour is a bit diverse

e.g.   

I can highly recommend the following, soothing way to relax, within your own four walls.

When I wake up during the night and my wife is fast asleep ... and our immediate neighbours are charging up their own batteries, in darkness and absolute silence, then I seize the following opportunity: - 

In the lounge I take the rare chance to sit on my tightly-crossed legs, yoga-style. I select Handel’s Water Music, or Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake, as my preferred choices of background music. Using my headphones, so as not to disturb anyone, I am all set to begin an unequalled period of relaxation and meditation, which in due course will allow me to drift off back to sleep for the remainder of the night.

For the next twenty-five to thirty minutes I'll benefit from the privilege of having a 'Hi-Tech' means of experiencing private moments, somewhere between sleep and semi-sleep, with gentle thoughts vibrating and humming through my nervous system.

 

Unfortunately, much as I may have enjoyed this 'time out', it's all bull-shit!

I then have to spend a similar length of time detaching myself from the Masseuse Lazy-Boy, in an attempt to reach the bathroom before I have an incident or an accident, or both … without slamming down the toilet seat, as I stand up, which is a definite “No-no!” at that time of night.

For a few moments, during the above participation, I actually believed that my rheumatoid arthritis was a thing of the past, that my urology expert had got my dosage right and that the neurologist was spot on with his assessment of my mental health.

The above was just an hallucination. I was still asleep, really! One day, night or early morning I'll be able to distinguish between dreaming and reality. As our parents rightly told us,

''Old age doesn't come alone."

It brings with it aches, pains and great memories of what life used to be like and how far more efficiently we did things back then … and my brain certainly doesn't think I've even got there yet, although my body reckons it must be getting pretty close!                 

Feel free to read on, at your own pace.

"I suggest that you now go back to the blog page and select a  different page ... but don't be late for any appointments or engagements you may have ... and if you are like us, you will have a few to attend, whichever 'ologist he or she may be.

 My jottings will still be here when you return."

Bad luck!

Here's a rhyme that just came to me
As I thought about the passage above
A cat walked past my window
He was eyeing a little dove
Mankind thinks he's invincible
That six feet six is tall
He cannot see with his own two eyes
That in perspective he's very small
                              

                                ("Just thought I'd mention it!)                                             

😁        😄

L&P